Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
