look no pants
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
