david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
