Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
