pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How many fucks given?
0.12846
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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