trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
