you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
