im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
