there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
