Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
