Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
