I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
