so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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