SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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