bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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