Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
