you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
