guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can you bring me the toilet please
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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