VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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