that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Terrible idea I love it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
