sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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