I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
