its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
