we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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