I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
