this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
