operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
