My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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