areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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