he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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