So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I intend to get homeless drunk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
