She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
