Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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