I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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