After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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