dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
