She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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