Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
