We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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