Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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