he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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