conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
