So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
