P.S. I can't hear my feet
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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