About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
