I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
