Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
