That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
