I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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