That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wanna passion pit in your ass
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
