Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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