Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
