why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
