Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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