Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
