You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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