So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
