I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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